Is It Good Enough?
by Akuja
Summary: They're nothing but words. He needed nothing then. Shonen ai! one-sided KaiRei, TakaoKai


Title: Is It Good Enough?

Author: Aku

Pairing(s): One-sided KaiRei, TakaoKai

Warning(s): Yaoi, lemony-ish, angst

Ja: You come up with the weirdest plots, by the way.

Aku: I know. I pride myself because of that!

Ja: You come up with the weirdest things to pride over, by the way.

Aku: I know. I wuvie you, Ja!

Ja: You got good taste, though.

Aku: Nyaaaa, I knew you would say that...

**ooooo**

"They're only words." I remember the way he said it, his hair soaked by the rain that was dying, his eyes drenched, dripping ceremoniously like a sacrifice. Only words, he said. They were only words. But damn it, damn him to hell, I needed them.

"I know... but I need them. They might be only words, but I fucking need them!" I hated when he treated me this way. He made me feel like shit, made me guilty for nothing, just for existing. I am guilty for that.

He'd smile at me like yesterday, yesterday of about five years ago, holding me so gently that it wasn't real, it wasn't him. But I leaned into it every time, knowing where this would lead. But it was okay, because even if he never gave me words, he gave me this. Something that I could fall into, something that would make me feel like I belonged to him. Never did he belong to me, he was too wild, too untamed to be. But so was I when I wasn't with him.

He led me out of the rain, through the doors that I never knew existed. Out of the rain, I didn't feel any warmer, as a desperate trail of water would follow us, asking me to follow it back out the door. But I never turned to look at it, just kept my body close to his because he always owned me.

The door slowly opened, colder than the last, but I could play it over and over in my head. It was just a rerun, as he pushed me against the wall, his lips playing games across my own, his hands taking everything away. I was slowly drying, the cold drops from my hair touching my bare chest like his touches. Mimicking it all, I shook his hair, the drops trembling down our bodies, mixing with the sweat that slowly formed.

The bed wasn't soft, a stiff board against my back, I never knew how he slept on it. I felt the ache in my shoulders, the prodding in my back making me feel like dying, but he was over me again, lips sadistically smiling like every other time. His teeth growled out, sinking into my skin, tongue devouring my blood so hungrily, I felt lust. I felt love, but there was no room for that.

I was soon nothing but flesh, becoming devoured by him, his body covered in the wet mesh, leaving me colder than the air outside or the void where we shouldn't be in. He claimed me over and over again, marking my body like a master, not a lover. I let him, my entire being stiff and frozen by his touches. It was nothing new, just familiar.

'Don't cry...' I'd whisper to myself, as he stripped off his clothes, the actual ice of them finally reaching his skin. He stood, naked and beautiful, looking down at me as a client to his whore for the night. That was all I was, wasn't it?

He grasped my hair in his fist, lifting me to face him, licking my cheek that smelled of my blood. Forcing me to my hands, I was knelt before him, facing his erection, as he grabbed my chin so my mouth was aligned. I complied, opening my mouth, forcing him into my mouth down my throat.

'Don't cry...' I told myself again, as my tongue slowly circled the head, my throat protesting, but I ignored my body. He moaned out, his hands running through my hair, painfully scraping against my scalp. I choked, but suppressed the feeling, clenching my fists in the sheets below, as he started to slam into my mouth. I felt my throat constricting, as it burned. I wanted to slit my throat then if only to make more room. He shouted out in release, the stinging liquid tracing down my throat like poison, but I swallowed it whole like alcohol.

'Don't cry...'

I grabbed at my throat, trying to rub away the pain, but I knew it was swollen. He pushed me back onto the bed, one hand lazily touching me, as I moaned and writhed in pleasure. He played with me, running his hands all over my body, as he took my hands to touch myself. My eyes clenched shut, as my hand was placed around my own erection, stroking myself slowly, and touching every sensitive inch of me. It was so he could become aroused once more, and I knew it was already happening when he joined me on the bed.

"Lie on your stomach." He wouldn't say much more, as I turned, his hands quickly propping my rear into the air as if on display. He wasn't going to make it easier, he wanted my screams, he needed my tears. He stood on his knees behind me, the only lubrication being from my mouth when he was in it. He shoved into me, fast and hard, I screamed out into the pain, wondering who I was at the moment.

'Don't cry...'

He pulled out and pushed back in again, repeating the process so easily, not caring if I got any pleasure out of it or not. I leaned my face straight into the stiff mattress, no longer screaming, just trying to suffocate myself, to distract myself from the pain. There was no pleasure, I barely felt lust anymore, but it was the same. It wasn't rape. It would never be rape.

He slammed into me one final time before releasing into me, as my limbs gave up, falling down into the mattress. He sat up, looking at me, completely satisfied. He lifted my face, brushing his lips one more time across my swollen ones, not caring about the taste of salt on my tongue. And he pulled away, grabbing his clothes easily, and leaving me still in the cold room. As he left, the room felt warmer. I moved my hands away from the wet patch on the sheets where my face was and limped across the bare floor to find my own clothes. Sliding into the moist clothes, I opened the door, heading out the way I came in. The trail of water was dried, as I followed the scent of sex.

'Don't cry...'

And out into the rain, past the doors I never knew existed. I let the cold seep once more into my clothes, into my hair, washing away the sweat, the touches, the sex against my will. I was clean, I hated feeling clean.

"Kai..." I turned around, facing the source of the voice. Holding a blue umbrella, a concerned face looked out at me, walking towards me. "Kai... what are you doing out here?"

"I... I need Rei's words..." I trembled out, not knowing if they were tears or the rain.

He pulled me close, beneath the umbrella, and I knew they were tears because it was still raining. "Shhhh... don't cry, Kai... don't cry..."

It was his voice...

'Don't cry...'

It was Takao.

"Everything's gonna be okay..." He led me to his room. It was warm. I didn't move, I let him lead me. He took off my clothes, putting my wet clothes aside, and I wondered if it would all begin again. He stripped off his own, leaving his boxers on, as he pulled me beneath his covers. His bed was soft.

"You're safe now, Kai..." He pulled me towards his chest, my naked body pressed against his, so closely, I felt warm. He planted kisses over my face, and one on my lips, as his hands caressed my skin so gently, it was him.

I shook, my body trembling from the warmth. It wasn't what I was used to when I was with Rei. It was cold, his hands touching me all over, leaving behind a frozen trail. It was nothing like Rei. Takao was warm. He rubbed at my skin, the blood rushing through in my veins at the places he would touch.

He touched me all over, placing soft kisses over, whispering words to my ears. I didn't know what he said, just felt the hot air from his breath. I trembled with warmth, almost yearning for the cold, but he stroked me, letting me forget.

"Only for you, Kai..." He whispered, his hand continuing to stroke me slowly, the pace quickening with my breaths. "I want to make you happy, Kai..."

I gripped onto his shoulders, feeling his other arm slip around my waist, holding me like a lover. "I want to be yours, Kai..."

And I screamed out in pleasure, my body shuddering under the release, as I gripped onto his skin, the sweat dripping from my body. He placed his forehead on mine, his hand caressing my burning cheeks gently, as if to ease the fire that was burning now.

"Are my words good enough, Kai?" He whispered, kissing away the tears that ran across my face. He held me like tomorrow.

"Yeah... yeah, Takao... they're good." I smiled, crying myself to sleep in his arms, knowing tomorrow would be the same. His words were good. But... I still needed Rei's words.

**The End**

Kuu: Well... so... EXACTLY!

Ja: Brilliant.

Kuu: I am, aren't I?

Ja: I was talking about this peach jello...

Kuu: Oh... Ja?

Ja: Hai?

Kuu: Have you ever been jealous of peach jello?

Ja: o.o

Kuu: hehehe, review, nya?


End file.
